Okay, so I totally get that it is not a good thing to walk around being angry at people, and I actually do think we can forgive someone who does not acknowledge wrongdoing. I think we bring good things on ourselves when we behave with integrity -- but therein lies another dilemma -- in the face of injustice, what action or inaction reflects integrity?
The oil change place has offered us money for the Jeep and etc. -- not a lot, by any means. But it turns out they do not do background checks on their employees and actually have a good number of people working for them who have criminal records. Now, we all make mistakes so I am not suggesting people who have been convicted of a crime should not have jobs! But in my mind there is a difference between people with crimes of violence behind them and those who had a drug problem, for example. The person who tampered with Kim's brakes has a record of violence.
Okay, but is it our job to save the world? I want to know how the oil change place plans to make sure this does not happen again - they want to give us some money. Do you see the issue? If we take the money, we are done -- we lose the ability to negotiate for change in their company. But maybe it is not our job to do that.
The other option is to lawyer up, and/or go to the press and raise awareness about this. The oil change place has contracts with police agencies and so I feel a certain concern about this whole thing; that concern makes me feel kind of dirty for even thinking about taking the money and walking away.
It is the same as the landlord -- do I just walk away and do nothing? Or do I use my experience to try and create change for the betterment of others? Are these situations in my path so I can learn to move around them (i.e., let it go), or are they there because I should do something? Sigh...
So if integrity is being congruent and authentic, then acting with integrity means behaving in a way that reflects what one values. For whatever reason, I seem hard wired to want to create change and fight for the underdog. Therefore, walking away from situations in which my silence offers protection for those who appear willing to exploit others just doesn't feel okay to me -- it would not reflect integrity FOR ME. It might be the perfect path for someone else, but I am not someone else and so I have to find my own path (which is darn hard at times!).
Well, at the very least these things are making me pause and think. Life presents challenges that -- to me -- seem like lessons we are to learn. Yes, I wish we could just get some notes about what we need to know but I guess it does not work that way -- life is an individualized experiential learning process.
And so I suspect I will take on the landlord and raise awareness about issues related to tenant rights, and I suspect Kim and I will not take the money but rather think carefully about how to best proceed. And yes, this all takes energy -- but how does a person live knowing she did not try to make a difference when presented that opportunity? I know some people can and do just walk away from such things, and that is the right path for them -- it just isn't right for me. I guess I answered my own questions...
But really -- I do not sit up here on the mountain trying to work my way into conflicts!!! It would be just fine with me if everyone would be nice and fair -- as I define those things, of course ;) Rather, Galen and I are sitting on the mountain with anticipation -- the new house will close on Wednesday morning! WE ARE REALLY MOVING (knock on wood quickly please!).
If you are free next weekend, please come to Montana and help us move -- and to eat my birthday cake! A new house -- what a wonderful birthday present and I have to give all the credit to my DH (Dear Husband) who generated the down payment in creative (and legal!) ways and without the need to sell our Utah house. I will be setting up a poll in a couple of days so you can help me decide what color to paint my new kitchen :)
My sweet puppies -- Zoey and Sydney -- are really delightful and so different. But they both love to have what I call, "puppy cuddle time" and come running when I announce it. Here we are this evening and yes Mary Joan -- we are sitting on the bed!
I highly recommend puppy cuddle time to you -- come on over next weekend for a wild party involving a U-Haul, painting, cake, and lots of puppy cuddle time :)
Mediation may be an option for the oil change place, and cheaper and simplier than a lawyer. Otherwise it sounds like Get Gephardt or the like is an option. As a dsylexic I had to be sure I was spelling mediation and not meditation, although both may be appropriate. Congrats on the new house. Montana certainly seems like the place to raise a houseful of dogs.
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