Thursday, July 7, 2011

Syd's Diary

Dear Diary:

It started last Friday. I thought they were all my friends but obviously I was wrong. I felt very sleepy and then when I woke up I had a bad headache and that little lump above my elbow was gone -- and someone had done sewing there!!! Seriously?! What kind of sicko practices sewing -- in flesh?!!!!

Fine. I fixed them. I licked and licked and nibbled -- and by yesterday morning I had gotten rid of most of that bad sewing job.

The humans were not impressed -- back I went to my friends at the vet -- and yes, I still love them because I love EVERYONE all the time; this might have been a mistake.

My vet was also not impressed with the little hole -- and apparently thought that like a sock, I needed to be darned. She stuck needles in me while those traitors held me down and fed me bad cookies. And when it was done, they wrapped it in layers of tape and green vet wrap stuff, sprayed nasty crap all over it, fed me more cookies and remarked on how quickly I forgave them all -- what else can you do?

I had the stupid green bandage off before we got home -- since the vet is about three miles away, I was impressed even if nobody else was.

The humans wrapped it again. I had it off even quicker, having gained experience.

This was a mistake. The next thing I know I am wearing something around my neck and it is not a collar -- Karma was very rude and asked if I was trying to be a satellite dish.

I had it broken in about five minutes -- but they reinforced it with duct tape.

I went through their legs to help them understand the dangers of this stupid thing -- that was entertaining but they are slow learners and did not take it off.

I have cracked it more by running into walls, the table, doors, etc. -- duct tape is powerful stuff.

I am now depressed and need help from some real friends. I am sure Lisa or Galen will be here soon to rescue me...

The End.

No comments:

Post a Comment